Fear of food

Often, eating disorders develop because of a symptom. Symptom related to inability to swallow properly, choking, nausea, stomach pain, tightness in throat or chest, or loss of sense of taste and smell. In many cases, these symptoms appear suddenly and for no apparent reason.

In some cases - if it's chronic nausea for example - foods become a game of choice: "What will help relieve the nausea?"; "What doesn't help nausea?"; "Do any of these foods we eat contribute to nausea?"; "How come when we don't eat we still get sick?" Then our minds begin to pick up patterns and habits because of the little bursts of developing PTSD. You eat something and feel sick, which causes you to identify that food as a problem and learn to avoid that food. Just when you feel comfortable eating another food and suddenly you feel sick again. The next food you are uncomfortable eating, suspecting it is contributing to the problem. This can be repeated with many other foods. Nausea is usually not given a diagnosis other than nausea, but perhaps nervousness or anxiety. If everything in the abdomen turns out to be fine, it is usually attributed to the sufferer being "just sensitive".

This mysterious nausea can lead to serious eating disorders, even if you have decided to seek out a doctor or specialist to help you relieve the nausea and find the cause. Every day becomes "What should I eat?"; "What time should I eat?"; "Is the nausea better in the morning?"; "Is it better in the afternoon or evening?" In some cases of mysterious nausea, it goes so far that a person can barely eat anything. Even if the cause and the nausea go away, the resulting eating disorder may be permanent. The same goes for mysterious difficulty swallowing or chest tightness. Even if your condition is diagnosed as anxiety, it still does not eliminate the eating disorder.

Another thing that can complicate your eating disorder is when someone notices your problems—like a friend or family member—and you don't get an understanding of what you're struggling with. In addition to this misunderstanding, you now have an audience. Even if the audience was empathetic at first—concerned about your symptoms while you sought a doctor—it can end up feeling like a spotlight is on you. This can lead to post-traumatic stress disorder and the feeling that no one understands you.

Regardless of the symptoms you have, regardless of how many doctors you've seen, all eyes are on what you eat and swallow and how much you eat. Your initial symptoms that prompted you to seek help are often long forgotten by the audience. The entire focus has shifted to phrases like "You're not eating enough"; "You're getting too thin"; "Are you sick?!"; "You gotta put some meat on those bones!"; "Are you getting enough protein?" and "You're not eating the right things." Then the fear of foods appears or increases.

Even if you are immediately diagnosed with a certain physical condition, you can easily develop an eating disorder, in part because there is still no medical understanding of the causes of such conditions and they remain untreated. Someone with a simple case of heartburn (acid reflux), for example, may develop an eating disorder because they are always focused on questions like, “What foods will help?”; "Which foods won't help?"; "Oh, it's going to hurt when I eat this." Eating food that seems to work for you gives you a sense of security. Then, if it no longer works and the acid reflux or nausea comes back, it's frustrating.

Sometimes it's not about the symptoms someone experiences when they eat a certain food. It's about what they're told about that food. So many people are trying to figure out how to heal themselves. In the process, they are told that certain foods are harmful and they become afraid of foods that are actually good for them. There is so much confusion and people are under a lot of stress trying to heal.

Food is deeply connected with our body, with our physical understanding, even if we don't have constant health complaints. If a person comes home with burning chest pains and shares this with his family, the first thing everyone will ask is, "What did he eat today?" If that person decides to go to the emergency room, the doctor will ask, "What did you eat?" This question always comes up. That's how connected we are to food in general. These are the details with which patients begin to voluntarily describe their condition. "I was sitting at home and I had just had dinner. I got a terrible pain in my stomach" — or back, or chest, or lower abdomen — "and I thought I'd better come to the emergency room."

We often look to our food for answers. "Does she have anything to do with the problem?" We're so consciously connected to our food that if you're a plant-based or vegan person and you're starting to feel a little better - you've ditched processed foods, you believe animal protein isn't good for anyone - the first symptom you will get after changing your diet will cause confusion. Whether you've been plant-based for a shorter or longer time, you'll question your plant-based diet. You will listen to mental repetitions, flashbacks, memories of a certain doctor or specialist who told you that you need protein, that you should not be on a plant-based diet. You'll remember how a family member questioned your newfound plant-based diet. And now you will again worry about what you eat and ask yourself: "Am I doing everything right?"

Yes, it is possible that something is wrong with a plant-based diet and that it is contributing to a health problem. Still, switching to an animal protein diet won't solve the problem. Because no one, no matter what diet they're on, knows what's really wrong with their mysterious symptoms and conditions. No one knows how the diet contributes or not to them. It is this confusion with food that can lead to an eating disorder.

Physical symptoms that appear to be emotional make for some of the most difficult and long-lasting eating disorders. Mysterious nausea, chest tightness, throat tightness, difficulty swallowing, and stomach pains that do not have a definitive diagnosis will often be misdiagnosed as emotional symptoms even though they are physical. And when we are faced with physical symptoms that are misinterpreted as emotional and those symptoms interfere with eating, then it can be much more difficult. Breaking your jaw and not being able to chew or eat the normal foods you love for a month while your jaw heals is different. While experiencing a physical injury such as a broken jaw and a liquid-only diet can understandably lead to PTSD and an eating disorder, experiencing a mysterious illness with unexplained symptoms is extremely confusing. It can drive you crazy. Just sticking your fork in your food can become an emotional challenge when you suffer from mysterious physical, neurological symptoms that are misdiagnosed as emotional. It can become so emotional that the fear of foods eventually takes over your consciousness and that of those around you, while you're still struggling with the physical symptom that started it all. All too often people in this situation are accused that this mysterious condition for which they have sought help is actually just in their head or an emotional condition of their own making.