WE SHOULD TAKE CARE OF EACH OTHER (PART 1)

Nowadays, suffering from chronic disease symptoms or conditions is the new normal. We live in times where you are either not sick or you are very sick. Everyone struggles with some condition. Everyone faces at least one symptom, whether they would call it that or not, whether they realize that their health is threatened or not.

When you're "not so sick," your life hasn't hit the brakes yet. You are able to live with and deal with any health problems that may arise if you notice them at all. There isn't much of a gray area between "not so sick" and "chronically sick". You don't know when your health is reaching a point where it can't be managed until you feel it spiraling out of control. You realize that you are in an emotional or mental state of despair as you try to figure out how to stop the symptoms that are becoming a bigger and bigger problem that is getting in the way of your life.

Because of people's different pain tolerances and differences in themselves, the line between "not so sick" and "chronically sick" can vary from person to person. Obstacles for one person that limit their quality of life may not be obstacles for another. It all comes down to each person's individual experience. When you are "not so sick", everything goes smoothly. You cross the line of "chronically ill" when you feel that something is wrong and is really interfering with your life.

When you suffer from serious health problems, you can sometimes get a judgmental assessment from someone who hasn't been through the hell of going from doctor to doctor. The "not-so-sick" person's attitude may be limited to their own experience of mild bloating , mild acne now and then, a headache once a day, mild brain fog that clears up from caffeine in the morning, occasional mild fatigue, or slight weight gain . It would be a relief for the "chronically ill" to experience only the symptoms of the "not so ill", which also include mild discomfort, mild shoulder pain, mild symptoms of seasonal affective disorder , leg pain, sometimes headache, mild morning stiffness, that subsides, mild sinus congestion, sometimes yeast infections, mild constipation, rare colds, mild anxiety, mild thyroid conditions, hormonal imbalances, and mild skin problems. These mild or temporary symptoms of the "not so sick", while unpleasant and inconvenient, are quite different from the serious, life-inhibiting and perspective-altering symptoms experienced by the "chronically ill".

The "chronically ill" are people who have tried both conventional and alternative medicine. They know what it feels like to be burdened and trapped by a struggle that may be invisible to others. It can be a long, brutal journey trying to heal and find answers to severe neurological fatigue , crippling anxiety, chronic heart palpitations, high blood pressure, arrhythmias, drastic mood swings, severe depression, incessant brain fog , mysterious seizures, unexplained pains. on the body, debilitating migraines, excruciating eczema or psoriasis , chronic bloating , serious digestive disorders, mysterious pains in the jaw, tingling and tingling, tightness in the chest and inability to exercise due to muscle weakness .

When you see doctor after doctor, specialist after specialist, and co-pays mount up and diagnoses change or get no diagnoses at all, all of which interfere with your life, fighting for your health becomes a full-time job. Many days it's hard to get out of bed at all. You observe how productive others are, how they achieve their daily goals, while your daily routine consists of settling doctor and health insurance bills, visiting pharmacies, and driving long distances to various specialists. Sometimes you even have to visit a hospital. These daily chores, at some point, start to dominate your day, your year, your life, and the lives of those around you.

Meanwhile, you may face the added challenge of judgment and misunderstanding from some of the "not so sick" people you meet. They will treat you like you chose these symptoms and this long road to find answers, like you just didn't try hard enough to get better or stay positive enough. Criticism and doubt that your chronic suffering is even real can be adverse side effects of the already difficult reality of living with a chronic illness.

ROUTINE SELF-CARE AND THE DESPERATE NEED FOR CARE

One of the distinctions between "not so sick" and "chronically ill" is the difference between routine self-care and desperate need for care.

When you're "not that sick," visits to a doctor, specialist, rehabber, or instructor are about self-help, not crying out for help because you're so sick. Many people who are "not that sick" live normal lives. The disease does not hinder them, does not stop them and does not deprive them of the opportunity to do what they want. And some of those desires lead to self-care. You do workouts, sauna, facials, meditation, coffee shop visits, scented candles, travel plans, shopping, beautician visits, tartar cleaning, manicures and pedicures, acupuncture, massage, breath work, gatherings and events, and when a mild symptom occurs, you visit a doctor from time to time. Taking care of mild, intermittent, or temporary symptoms becomes part of your self-care routine. You don't have to stop and say to yourself, "I'm really sick and it's preventing me from doing what I want or need to do."

The "chronically ill" person needs care that goes beyond routine self-care - this is the desperate need for care. The elementary experience of the day boils down to mandatory forms of care that are necessary to sustain the path to healing. If the "not-so-sick" guy has to cancel his appointments because of bad weather, he'll still be fine. He can get frustrated. He may get some anxiety or a bit of stress from the fact that his plans have gone awry, but his life will still move on. The "chronically ill" is in a different situation. Every little element that supports the "chronically ill" is important. Their focus is on survival despite the symptoms and illness they suffer from. They are in a process of constant struggle to keep their freedom, they are fighting to regain the freedom they once had, they are trying to find joy wherever they can in this constant process of struggle for survival. And this "chronically ill" person needs mandatory forms of care that he relies on to carry out this ceaseless struggle. It's not about choosing care from an abundance of fun options or personal choices to support his life. The needs of the "chronically ill" person are mandatory for his survival.

So much time and energy goes into fighting a chronic illness. If a person who is "not so sick" has never experienced it, it may be difficult for them to understand it. Judging a "chronically ill" person when you've never been in that condition is like judging a homeless person living in a tent on the street when you've never been homeless. It's easy to look concerned as you just walk past this person. It's easy to think it's just a homeless guy living in his tent and then go about your day. And if you focus on the details of that person's life? What if you ask yourself: How did this person become homeless? When was the last time he had a bath? When was the last time he ate? How does he go to the toilet? Is there mold on his blankets? Does his tent have holes in it? Can he walk at all, or is he suffering from pneumonia? How do you say? What does he need? How long has he been on the street?

When a "not so sick" person meets a "chronically ill" person, they may look alike. And if the "not so sick" person has never experienced what the "chronically ill" person experiences, they may not be aware of certain details of that person's life. How long has he been sick? How severe is the disease? What foods can he eat or not eat? Can he even bathe himself? Can he exercise? What kind of pain does the person experience - mental or physical? How many doctors has he seen? Has he lost friends to the disease? Is he suffering from PTSD because of the illness? How many hours can it function during the day? The list is endless!

There are cases in which the "not so sick" person can be extremely absorbed in self-care. So engrossed that it is as if everything that is not related to his own experience does not exist. If it doesn't fit into his frame of experience, then it doesn't matter, or he simply can't see it. A "not-so-sick" person who is absorbed in self-care may empathize with someone's sprained ankle if they themselves have had a sprained ankle. He can empathize with someone's hay fever if he himself has had hay fever. Such a person may be inclined to learn something new that someone is doing for their health if they can apply it in a way that helps themselves. His life becomes a life of self-care, to the point where he has no time to care about anything unrelated to his own life. With such an attitude, a "not so sick" person may unwittingly cause emotional harm to the "chronically ill" people they meet.

When a "not-so-sick" person cannot look beyond their own experience, they may be judgmental about what the "chronically ill" person decides to do to heal, or what great efforts they have to make. , to try to heal and recover. A "chronically ill" person who has wasted years of his life in struggle and suffering, seeing dozens of doctors, spending tens of thousands of dollars, losing friends and family, even losing parts of himself in the difficult path of the disease - when that person finds a way out, finds a way to heal and recover, he may remain misunderstood by the "not so sick" person. Because if the "not so sick" person can't understand how hard it was for the "chronically ill", how sick he really was, what it was like to be at your worst and fight for your life, then The "not so sick" person will not be able to understand the recovery of the "chronically ill" person - how far he has come, what means he used, what he did to recover.

When you recover from a chronic illness, you can feel like an outsider. And in fact, you deserve much more appreciation. The world of the "not so sick" should praise those who have recovered from chronic illness. They must raise their flags high, shouting for others to know and learn as well.

However, this does not happen. The world of the "not so sick" is rather unsupportive. A "not so sick" person may not pay attention to someone's recovery if it does not apply to them, or if they notice it, they may misunderstand and even judge them. The "chronically ill" can be judged both for getting sick and for how they recover. It is easy to laugh off or pass over these life-saving insights if we have never experienced this type of suffering. And this is so until the moment when the "not so sick" become "chronically sick".

Materials from Anthony William's book "Brain Saver" (not yet translated into Bulgarian) were used for the article.